Will I won't I ?

Ever get pregnant again?? In a nutshell; my 35 year old ovaries think that they are 90 year old ovaries! It has been an ongoing fight for over 14 years. Maybe its time I give up the fight? I can't even say 100% that I even want anymore...God that should be a no brainer right? I can't seem to figure out if its a true baby longing or just a "just cause I can't' thing. That has always been the thing that has spurred me on in life- just tell me I can't...I dare you! The dr.'s have all but about given up on me...heck I'm not even a good enough canidate for IVF..unless I use someone elses eggs....and honestly I would, but it just costs too damned much. I like my tiny itty bitty minescule amount of ME time I get a day...another baby would just eat that up.....another baby would also eat up any remaining money in our already tight budget. Another baby would be adorable for about 2 years, then would be exactly what I have now... I Love being a Big family...but much bigger becomes a whole 'nother monster....you dont just go to Disneyland, you dont just go to dinner, you dont just book a hotel...you can't ( there are too many in your party), and you definitly do not fly anywhere!! I say all of this based on OUR income mind you...I know there are plenty of big families with incomes to match so of course this doesnt apply to them... I wish I could just Morph a little faster into a 60 year old Grandma...if I didnt have the choice I would be somuch more content..I think its the choice rather the outcome that is killing me. Is 4 enough? Would 5 be enough? Is this really about more kids, or just about my inability to make a concrete decision and be happy with it? I am so jealous of those gals who can make the choice to have one or 2 and be completly happy about it..In fact I know someone who would be Pissed if she had another..I want that! *sigh*.......

I Heart Britney

Well ok, I don't approve of any of the personal choices she has made, and lets face it the bald look wasnt flattering for her either.... However...I love her music...always have ; I won't play like I dont. If that makes a teeny bopper wanna be (yeah I said that..that automatically makes me 50) then so be it!! I hope she comes back like a Lion..... So for your listening pleasure, her new video.... (not for the kiddos) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-23EToh43M I also love Miss Taylor Swift. What a talented, beautiful young girl she is! Here is her newest single... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXKAzgBMWxc

Pumpkin Patch

So I braved the pumpkin patch today with (2) 2 year olds and a 7 month old..I know Kelly from my BB would say "And?....." LOL ( she is a brave Mama of 2 year twins and an adorable newbie)

However I am not a new mommy...I have teens for petes sakes and a 2 year old!! Doesnt that qualify me for some award?? LOL I'm joking .....sorta

Speaking of teens I saw the funniest Halloween decoration/sign today...

It read

YOU CANT SCARE ME.........I HAVE TEENS!!

Omg is that true or what?????

Anywho,....the kids were dolls at the farm. They loved petting the animals, chasing the chickens and riding the tractor/hayride. They got to pick out their own cute little pumpkins and each swiped a bag of M&M's I had to pay for...:[

A nice change of pace

In all the mud slinging of politics.... This was a welcome breath of fresh air.... I do believe I am now a Mama for Obama...

While I respect Mr. McCain, I cannot for the love of my family and most importantly my husband and his fellow troops, I must vote for anything that is Opposite Bush. http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=10248680&ch=4226723&src=news

Happy Friday to ya.....

I'm finally one of those who truly looks forward to the weekends....Now that I am a working Mama (LOL ok a nanny, but still...) I sooooooo look forward to those 2 precious days off! Is it because I look forward to spending more time bonding with my loved ones? How how about some extra time to cuddle up on the couch with a good book and a warm cup of coffee? Or could it be ............................................................. ..................................................... ......................................... ................................ .......................... ................. I GET TO SLEEP IN!!! Whoot whoot!!!!

Love Photoshop...

Love this program!!

I tell ya its worth the investment....Buy it if you can...borrow it and bootleg ....even better ;')

I have taken some really blah looking pics and turned them into some great photo creations.

Here is an example...see the same picture below to compare. Think Christmas cards!!!

Ok..she is cute....

We had a brief moment of silence today...followed by a shower of smiles and coo's.....

Evil cookie

Cruz is sharing...cookies.....

Why do you sit here...taunting me? Knowing full well I can't partake in your sweetness; you evil Girl Scout cookie....Look at you...you think your so cool sweet, so chocolatly..so desirable....

I hate you cookie

Good boy weinner...good dog!!

Sick still.....

Cruzee is sick...Kennedy is still sick ( she is by far Much sicker:<( poor dear!

Isnt he pathetic looking?? Send him some soup would ya?

Halloween!!!!

I love Halloween!

I know some do not...for that I will never fully understand. I think people like that really over complicate life in general. You can turn anything into 'evil', but why? Why when there is soooo much obvious unescapable evil already so very present in our world?

Halloween is a fun day ( or month for crazy's like me), where you can dress up, pass out sweets, get a little scared, and just enjoy a day thats NOT about gifts!

It seems every other Holiday has been turned into a gift giving occasion. With 4 kids, this gets not only expensive, but it makes me resentful at times.

Halloween is one of the remaining days where its all about the fun sans the gifts.

Boo!

I Hate T-mobile and you should too!

OMG...I am steaming mad tonight!!!

We live in a rural area that does not get good or really any cell phone reception. My husband and I have cell phones because when he is at work he can call us while he's on the road, and I like to have one for emergencies, in case the kids need me ect....last year I added a line for Katie ( against my better judgement) and then after MUCH whining we added one for Kayla in June.

Now mind you I have specifically asked the T-mobile reps when ever I speak to them ( and I mean like every month) the same question..."Because we get zero reception in our zip/area code; if we were to cancel EARLY would we be free from any early term fee? The resounding answer has always been YES. YES YES and YES!! I especially asked this question in June before I activated Kaylas account...they said YES. I then decided to cancel the account in sept- She never really had a use for it and with zero recept. here at home, the phone is really of NO use to her. So I called to cancel. "yes, no problem, I see your area has no reception....No term fee" I was told. Well this months bill showed her phone was still active, I call "Um yes ma'am you had to cancel within the buyers remorse period" WTH???? That was NEVER said to me...not once in the 20 times I have asked....."Oh well there is NO documented calls that you ever asked this Ma'am" Again, WTF? So I'm a liar now? I said well she didnt d o c u m e n t that I asked for the line to be canceled last month now did she? OMG....I"m so getting Jesse.....http://www.king5.com/localnews/consumer/

You can bet your ASS I will NOT renewing with T mobile...nor should you- they have TERRIBLE customer service.

Too cute to not post

I know I said I had flem to clean up..I did I did..( YUCK),but I wanted..no I needed to post this cute pic of the cuties i have on hand...

Cruz and his buddie Ethan...yes I have (2) 2 year olds 5 days a week ( oh and a 7 month old who screams 24-7..but we love her:<)....

Anyways here is a pic of the two of them chillen out eating some pop corn and juicen it!!

Also I had to add a snip-it about Kayla....that girl has been begging me for wedge high heals since the dawn of time! She thinks she is too short..now I have explained to her that she is NOT,in fact according to the dr, she is very average- BUT she happens to be friends with alot of Tall kids, so she thinks she is the odd one;.) so I finally orderded her some from ebay.....

here they are..( well actually they are on top...I havent quite gotten the hang of this blogger layout)...anyone wanna place bets on when she'll break her neck? She think

she is cool now casue she's taller than her sister (katie)....Which is funny as Katie is short; so thats not really much of a feat....

Munch house Mom??

I know this sounds awful, heck it sounds awful to type it...but secretly there is a small part of me that Likes when my kids get sick...ok ok wait a minute...before you jump to conclusions, NO I would never ever make them sick..but when they are sick they are so helpless, and quiet and gooooooood!! See where I'm going? Now of course it breaks my heart to see any of my kids sick, and I am a dutiful nurse to the Im, working round the clock to esnure their speedy recovery, but dang for a brief moment in time; its one of the 4 that is NOT fighting with another, or sassing me or Chris, or causing any type of trouble at all!! Now the exception to this; cause there always is...is Katie- Oh my God, when she is sick it is always more work than its worth...she is just like her father!! Speaking of him....he told me yesterday he was coming home early because his back hurt...O M G ....if I could have blown my head off I would have; as that would have been better than dealing with that man and his back woes! I know it hurts him, and can only imagine the amount of pain he has endured, but GO TO THE T*&%*&% DR!!! UGH -Ladies enough said-

So anyways, kennedy is now puking up flem...not one of the attributes I love, but Nurse Lisa needs to be back on duty..so I am signing off for now.

Poor Kennedy; send her some virtual soup would ya?

Why can't I diet?

Aaack, everyday...same song and dance....I start the night before; disgusted with myself; vowing to be better the next day. I did it before...I was soooo on track; lost 55 lbs- was looking great, feeling great- then it stopped. I just stopped.WHY DID I STOP??? I have started gaining back the weight..and losing my self esteem in the process...:<( Booooo-

So anyways, I start the day off with big plans...and by 4 pm I'm craving sugar baaaad and I cave!

I just bought these jeans Friday...its Tuesday and they're already tight? HUH? I must be gaining by the second..crap! Its soo depressing. I set myself up for failure everyday...Diet pills dont hold a candle to my hunger..I swear I think I'm half cow!! I could easily graze an entire field!

This is not self love day :<(.....

On a bright note; Cruz is actually cleaning up his toys!! ( in exchange for boobie) WHOO HOO I think Ill bake a cake and eat it!! LOL joking...(sorta)

I would like to put a plug in for South beach chocolate covered soynuts...I know...soynuts? But I promise they are absolutly yummy!!! Go get yourself some!!! Plus they are only 100 calories!!

ok well I need to get to bed to be fresh for the baby's scream fest tomorrow.....6 am to 5 pm of non stop screaming...who hoooo...you know your jealous....dont lie......;,)

Ok so hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for me.....and you..have a good one!

Things a Mom does NOT want to hear....

Lets start at the bottom........

"Mom, I puked on the couch"... kennedy age 9

No Cruz, please do NOT mop the dog

No Cruz, please do NOT Mop Ethan...( my sweet 2 year old that I babysit)

Please Chris, do not Oust the Dog again..I do not think that was what they meant by removing odors...you may just remove HIM from this earth that way-( um yeah, no excuse,...Chris is 36!!)

Borrowed from Gina.."Please Carter, put your weiner away....No Do NOT taunt the dog with your weiner! (Carter is 4)

I have to laugh, because with out these kids, what would we do with ourselves?

With that behind us....I am in week 7 of my class from H e l l !!! One week to go!!! I only have to pass that thing to Graduate...Graduate from College!!! Is that for real? Holy Cow.....I"ms smart!! NOT!! I"m so glad to have it over...I will start the process for my teachers certification sometime after the new year..I just need some time to relax..LOL Is that possible with 4 kids, 2 more that I babysit. and constantly working hubby? Well as much as possible I guess....

My Grandma turned 96 years old thid weekend!!! Can you believe that? I swear she is going to out live us all~ Happy Birthday Grandma Tuller!! We love you!!